Remembering Edgar

by ENGENG TAN
SATURDAY, APRIL 30, 2016
Edgar and I had never met. Our friendship was one of the strangest kind. You may liken it to pen-pals, but it was more.
I studied Architecture in the then Singapore University on a government scholarship that required me to stay in a student hostel.
As Raffles Hall was the nearest hostel to my campus, I started living there in 1975. That same year, Edgar, majoring in Pharmacy, left Raffles Hall.
I met Teh Eng, my husband, in Raffles Hall and we eventually got married years later. Teh Eng knew Edgar and both of them were friendly to each other. Teh Eng told me Edgar was an intelligent person with a charming personality. He was also cheerful and modest.
When our cohort graduated and left Raffles Hall, or ‘RH’, as we intimately called it,  many of our peers went back to their home countries and vanished, never to appear in our lives again since.
RH had its 50th anniversary reunion in 2009, and some of our closest friends reunited again in Singapore. That prompted Teh Eng and me to relive the good old days by searching for the whereabouts of his old time buddies.
The name 'Edgar Lu' popped up amongst others.
I helped Teh Eng find out Edgar's contact on Facebook and wrote him an email. Because of Teh Eng's condition, I became the bridge between them, penning all of Teh Eng's emails to him, and reading all of his to Teh Eng.
As Teh Eng had said, Edgar held an optimistic view on things and also a burning desire to keep living. Edgar and I soon became pen pals. We shared similar beliefs and philosophies.
After exchanging emails for a few weeks, our relationship grew closer and Edgar revealed to us that he had been an MND (Motor Neuron Disease) patient for the past 10  years.
I could not immediately relate to the term ‘MND’ due to my deficiency in English. Further research online yielded depressing results. As I read about his condition, I slowly sank into disbelief and sadness.
Edgar was paralyzed from the neck down! How did he manage to write me all this while? How could he sound like he was content with life and was happy?
The next email reply weighed heavy on my shoulders. Just when I was hesitating and thinking of what to say, he wrote me another one.
This time, he explained how he could write emails and surf the internet. It was by virtue of an expensive and sophisticated gadget that was attached to his head. With the movement of his eyes and head, he could control the cursor on the screen.
Edgar told me he wrote articles and posted on his blog. My heart melted thinking of how difficult it was for him to write. I read his blog anxiously, looking for a clue to convince myself that he was alright.
The vast number of articles I found amazed me. Sentiments of his struggle flowed gently in between the lines that devoured and moved me.
Edgar knew that I loved stand-up comedies and offered to cut a CD from his collection of comedies for me. He went on to say that if he had known me back in RH all those years ago, both of us would definitely have hit it off. Discreetly, my self-esteem had been boosted. By this time, my compassion for him had transformed into admiration and respect.
Teh Eng and I decided to pay Edgar a visit. Without knowing Edgar was very weak at that time and after some arrangement with his wife, we fixed a date to visit him.
Edgar was excited and said several times that he was looking forward to that day to come. Unfortunately, that wish never realized.
When Edgar did not reply a few of my emails with his usual promptness, I felt uneasy. Both Teh Eng and I thought he must have fallen sick again.
Edgar's wife wrote me a short note weeks later, telling us that he had passed away. I knew how Teh Eng must have felt just as I knew how my heart ached.
Edgar, will the Phoenix rise again from the ashes like our beloved RH spirit? Will I  receive again your letter from heaven? Till we meet again, my dear friend!
Footnote - Edgar went to Heaven in August,2011.

Credit - Special thanks to Chiew Weihan, my son for editing.
by Eng Eng 2016 April

Note more of her work can be found here in FaceBook